i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
