home. puking in laundry basket.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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