I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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