OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
