if i can run in heels then i can drive
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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