Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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