So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
