FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
