yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
