can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
