I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
