haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
