ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
