he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
