Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
