I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
