is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He better not be in your backpack
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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