I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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