So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
