"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
