Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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