real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
