Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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