Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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