Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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