In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
