Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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