the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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