Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
