So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Do vagina's smell?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
