i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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