Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
