i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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