I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
