You really coming over, don't trick.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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