Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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