She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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