There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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