If that was your dad, he is hot
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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