escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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