Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
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