Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I want her autograph on my taint
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
