I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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