hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
