Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
