so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
