at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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