you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
