My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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