Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
