Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
