The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
