Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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