you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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